allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
