i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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