and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
only you would photoshop your dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize