drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
