Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
