it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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