Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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