During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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