bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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