I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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