Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
