You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just pee around me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
