Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
