she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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