i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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