i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
