carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Found the puke drawer
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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