either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
