Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
