I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
so much tequila, so little girl.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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