I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
