I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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