is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
