Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
