In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
