You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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