This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
