Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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