Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
