Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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