break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
