OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
