Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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