She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
