Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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