Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
