You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
