He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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