and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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