Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
