hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
