I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
