she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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