I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
