How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
