Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
