We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize