If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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