I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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