am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
