Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize