I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
