are you still at the devil's house?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
