also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
