Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
