I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
