Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
