meet me or not, i'm out of control
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
