How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
