The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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