thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
