I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
