Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
