So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
